Much Ado About Nothing | Act I, Scene I
Scene I
[Before Leonato's House]
Enter Leonato, Governor of Messins; Hero, hisdaughter; and Beatrice, his niece, with a messenger.
- LEONATO:
-
I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes
this night to Messina.
- MESSENGER:
-
He is very near by this. He was not three leagues off
when I left him.
- LEONATO:
-
How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?(5)
- MESSENGER:
-
But few of any sort, and none of name.
- LEONATO:
-
A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home
full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed
much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
- MESSENGER:
-
Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered(10)
by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of
his age, doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a lion. He
hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must
expect of me to tell you how.
- LEONATO:
-
He hath an uncle here in Messina who will be very(15)
much glad of it.
- MESSENGER:
-
I have already delivered him letters, and there
appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not
show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness.
- LEONATO:
-
Did he break out into tears?(20)
- MESSENGER:
-
In great measure.
- LEONATO:
-
A kind overflow of kindness. There are no faces truer
than those that are so washed. How much better is it to
weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
- BEATRICE:
-
I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the(25)
wars or no?
- MESSENGER:
-
I know none of that name, lady. There was none
such in the army of any sort.
- LEONATO:
-
What is he that you ask for, niece?
- HERO:
-
My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.(30)
- MESSENGER:
-
O, he's returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.
- BEATRICE:
-
He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged
Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge,
subscribed for Cupid and challenged him at the
birdbolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten(35)
in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For, indeed
I promised to eat all of his killing.
- LEONATO:
-
Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much;
but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
- MESSENGER:
-
He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.(40)
- BEATRICE:
-
You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it.
He is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent
stomach.
- MESSENGER:
-
And a good soldier too, lady.
- BEATRICE:
-
And a good soldier to a lady; but what is he to a lord?(45)
- MESSENGER:
-
A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all
honourable virtues.
- BEATRICE:
-
It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man; but
for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal.
- LEONATO:
-
You must not, my lord, mistake my niece. There is(50)
a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her.
They never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between
them.
- BEATRICE:
-
Alas! He gets nothing by that. In our last conflict
four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the(55)
whole man governed with one; so that if he have wit
enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference
between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth
that he hath left to be known a reasonable creature. Who
is his companion now? He hath every month a new(60)
sworn brother.
- MESSENGER:
-
Is't possible?
- BEATRICE:
-
Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as the
fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.
- MESSENGER:
-
I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.(65)
- BEATRICE:
-
No, and if he were, I would burn my study. But I
pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young
squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the
devil?
- MESSENGER:
-
He is most in the company of the right noble(70)
Claudio.
- BEATRICE:
-
O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease! He is
sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs
presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have
caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere(75)
he be cured.
- MESSENGER:
-
I will hold friends with you, lady.
- BEATRICE:
-
Do, good friend.
- LEONATO:
-
You will never run mad, niece.
- BEATRICE:
-
No, not till a hot January.(80)
- MESSENGER:
-
Don Pedro is approached.
Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and [Don] John the Bastard.
- DON PEDRO:
-
Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet your
trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.
- LEONATO:
-
Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your
Grace; for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but(85)
when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness
takes his leave.
- DON PEDRO:
-
You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this
is your daughter.
- LEONATO:
-
Her mother hath many times told me so.(90)
- BENEDICK:
-
Were you in doubt, my lord, that you asked her?
- LEONATO:
-
Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.
- DON PEDRO:
-
You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by this
what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be
happy, lady; for you are like an honourable father.(95)
- BENEDICK:
-
If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have
his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she
is.
- BEATRICE:
-
I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
Benedick; Nobody marks you.(100)
- BENEDICK:
-
What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
- BEATRICE:
-
Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such
meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself
must convert to disdain if you come in her presence.
- BENEDICK:
-
Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved(105)
of all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in
my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none.
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